Thanksgiving, prayer and patience

So yesterday I had this thankful post that i was allready to write, but I was not feeling well at all, so im gonna write it tonight.

Once years ago i heard a sermon on being thankful and that thankfulness goes hand in hand with prayer and patience. He said we are always thankful for stuff in life, but true thankfulness comes with being thankful for what God gives us, no matter what form it may come to us in. Now I totally agree with what that pastor said, when I heard the sermon I did not and I think its cuz I didnt fully understand what he was saying.

Ever since I can remember Ive always wanted and prayed for a caring husband and a life full of children and love...not too much to ask for right?!?!

Its no secret that Ben and i have been trying to conceive for a number of years and have not had much success. At the time that I heard this sermon we werent even married yet and I allready knew that we would have trouble conceiving on my end but I had figured since God knew what I wanted Id get it...little did i know what these last five years would of been like.

At the beginning or our marriage I prayed we would get prego despite our problems and truely believed that we would. After a year or so of that I realized that wasnt going to be the case so I started doctoring with almost anyone who would see me to find the answers I thought I was looking for.

About 3.5 years into our marriage I was sooo lost in life...I was no longer teaching, I was very homesick and heart broken that God had not given us a baby. I couldnt understand why other people who didnt even want kids could have ten and we couldnt even have one!

I was a mess! During all of this I was always thankful for ben and everything else I had in life, but sooooo much of me was mad, depressed and so confused as to why God let me down!

After awhile its like God smacked me in the face and said wake up crazy lady! I didnt wake up overnight it was definitely a long process but now I understand what the pastor was saying.

I have an amazing husband who is very loving and caring, I have more love in my life than I could of ever imagined and allthough I dont have my ownkids I am surrounded by kids all around me!

You see, life is a great mystery and God hears all of our prayers He just gets to them in His own time and in His own way! God has given me all that Ive asked for but in different forms.

I may sound crazy and naive, but Im tired of hurting and coveting so badly for what others have. I want to feel peace and true thanksgiving for the things God has given me in the here and the now!

I will never stop praying and hoping for us to have kids of our own, but until then I will be thankful for what I have in the now.

With all that being said, in this time of Holidays and Thanksgiving I just want to say thank you to all who are in my life. Thank you for being there with me through the last couple of years...thru the phone calls, dr appts, crazy rants, crazy hormones, etc. Thank you for loving me and being supportive thru it all.

Thank you God for the amazing hubby, friends and family I have (no matter how crazy we all make each other)...Please continue to give me (and those around me) the patience and strength to accept life as it comes in Your time and not my own. Please help me to continually grow and to be thankful for all that I have!